my journey

while waiting my husband for scanning appointment at QMC hospital, suddenly i wonder why i'm here? How come i choose to be an academician as i thought i'm not born to be a learner. If i thought about my childhood or during my school time.. the only thing in my mind was play..play..n play...I'm not an ambitious person who always dream to be the best but i still do put some bench mark in my life..But again i'm prefer go with the wind...

During my primary school, i was active in sports. I realized that i'm a fast learner when came to sport matters but not in academic. I am much happier if being awarded as the best co-curriculum student than academic. That's my aimed n i got it. But what made me extremely happy was i also got 4A's in UPSR even though i'm not among the target students. But some of my teacher quite shocked laa coz there were some students who kununnya more brilliant than me don't get 4A's..what the hell buat muka terkejut beruk...i'm still among top 10 in school....Then some rumours said that my UPSR result cukup2 makan je...kira nasib la..that's why i don't get any offer from boarding school except from MRSM..whatever..

Surrounded with many good students in MRSM Gerik didn't make me worried at all. I was in my own world. Never thought about study too much. I didn't put a great effort to compete with others. But still got the aimed lorr...at least i will not be in the last class and still can proceed to MRSM during form 4..Luckily i'm not in the last class but in 2nd last class...haha...ok what..n with 6A's 2B in PMR i still can entered MRSMBP..See how not ambitious i am...I realized that i started to put a little attention in my academic in BP. But still not too much laa coz my aimed only wanted to go to any university in Malaysia. I got 13 aggregate (5A's, 3B n 1 C)for my SPM's result and got the offered to do a Diploma in Civil Engineering at UTM. I'm happy with the offer but when my mom said..'diploma je...hangin la gua...She said along yg x penah msk boarding school pn straight away buat degree..Besides some of my friends who got result slightly lowered than me pun still got the opportunity to do a degree...doesn't matter what courses they took...Plus diploma holders don't have a big chances to further in degree level (mentioned about UTM) as UTM only allocate small places for us depends on the kuota. Starting from that i realized that i start berjinak2 pg library..do all the tutorial,,stay up (which i never concern pn ms nk ambik PMR dulu..At last i'm qualified to pursue my engineering knowledge in degree level. I can't beleived that i also can be as good as other people if i'm study...Huh x la bengap sangat rupanya..silap haribulan kalu aku study ms kat MRSM dulu dh top student kut..x la aku dapat SAP ms trial SPM...haha...

Now i'm doing a phd..thousand miles far away from my family..my friends...So my life now is only learn..learn..n learn.. That's make me wonder how come a person who only think about enjoy and play... turn to be someone who has to do a research, teaching n learning...But this will be my last stop. After this my priority is my family. Enough to make somebody else sacrifice on me..enough to let him put his dream aside...I will try my best and promise to support his future and his carrier..i'll always pray that he will be successful in his carrier one sweet day...perhaps...